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Coffee Conversations: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?


Facebook's news feed is recently abundant with articles on current events, thus it has become the social media savvy's daily source and insight on the external world. I like reading an article or two, but I stopped because I.CANNOT.TAKE.THE.COMMENTS. I don't even know how nicely I would call it anymore, but most of them are lame, unfounded, hypercritical, whiny, insensitive. I try to give my news feed a chance every now and then, but such comments are still there-I guess they will be there for eternity! Some comments could get so lame that I sometimes forget my goal to become a very positive person and my fingers would itch to type down my counter comment, but I stop--It's not worth it, that's what I'd always say and it brings me back to a calmer state.

Photo taken from iamaaronc.blogspot.com

I was browsing my news feed last night (and yet again, I'm giving it another chance) and what caught my attention was this link that pointed to Aaron's blog. If you recall, Aaron was the fashion blogger wannabe who had a quick rise to social media fame when Liz Uy retweeted and followed him-he even enjoyed a brief moment at the trending list of Twitter 'cuz of the #TeamAaron hashtag and he landed a segment on GMA's Wish Ko Lang as the program chose his request to meet (and be styled by) Liz Uy in person. For a moment, he disappeared from the high- heeled limelight, but he's back. Aaron does it again...or maybe those nasty blog commenters.

Aaron's recent blog post, A SKATER WITH CHANEL, earned the ire of many blog readers, most especially of the so- called skater alliance and skater groupies. (Heck, I don't even know if they're real practitioners or fans of the sport to begin with) Aaron was busted for his take on skater fashion, an OOTD that didn't sit quite well with a very expectant (and mostly hypercritical) audience.

And so the temptation was there-I scrolled down a lil' further and voila! I was at the comment section already. I had so many reactions upon reading a few comments-I was frustrated, horrified, and disgusted at the same time. MOST OF THE COMMENTS WERE JUST TOO RUDE!

Wanna know how rude they are? Here are samples:






I almost wanted to search for Aaron's contact number and urge him to fight for his right to be treated humanely and put the Cybercrime Law to good use. What does his being gay have anything to do with his style choice??!?! Good Lord, please don't tell me we are still in a backwards world where everyone still thinks that people from the third sex won't amount to anything! I also agree to one commenter who said that Aaron is only 15, the age where an individual tries to discover his/her personal style and taste. He/she who didn't commit mistakes when they were 15 cast the first stone!

Some of you may say that it's their frikkin' opinion so I shouldn't be giving a shit about it. Wrong! That's the problem with the world nowadays-everyone thinks they're entitled to their own opinion even if it's hurtful, insulting, degrading, mindless, and disrespectful. No wonder why this world can't achieve authentic peace! There's so much self- entitlement and selfishness going on today!

As I write this, I immediately remembered the advice of the great Buddha on comments, judgments, and criticisms:

Photo Credits: sharegoodthings.com

I love Buddha and I read a lot of his teachings and quotes, and this is one of my favorites-I call it the 'Divine Mouthwash' or the 'Tongue Gates'. Before you speak, it is imperative that you ask these questions first:

So let's say you're going to comment on Aaron's fashion sense, the government, the current situation of our society, or someone else who's irking you nowadays:

IS IT TRUE?

- There is an absolute truth behind everything, but it gets twisted because everyone tries to interpret it and they force their own version of the truth. So what you're saying is the truth, huh? How sure are you that it's true? Do you have facts? Do you have proof? What's your basis? (Hearsays not included) Do you honestly know the root cause?

IS IT KIND?

- Saying it 'kindly' doesn't mean you have to censor your real thoughts and opinion. Why can't people say "Aaron, I appreciate your take on fashion, but I think this is just way too much" instead of "Pakshet ka bakla, pangit ng porma mo skater wannabe ugh." Insulting words guised as an opinion don't encourage people-it just crushes them. Besides, you don't want to hear the same feedback about you, right? You may disagree, but that doesn't give you the right to be rude.

IS IT NECESSARY?

- Do people really have to rub it on his face that he's gay? Do people really have to curse and call him names? Saying unnecessary things will only lead to hate-there's so much hate in the world now so please, let's not add to the problem.

I know some of the things I've written here are not necessarily kind, but jeezus, the world has to be reminded sometimes.

But look at Aaron's blog now-it has a significant audience and he's currently enjoying the top spot on topblogs. Who knows? One day, this kid might be a fashion icon. Let's see how his haters would react by then.

Aaron, take it from me-haters are gonna hate. That's all.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Beauty. Fitness. Fashion. Food. Travel. Unicorns. World Peace. Digify Corporation.

12 Lovely Thoughts

  1. Some people just doesn't know when to shut it...!!!! If that were my kid, they would surely hear one or two from me...
    People who do that are insecure!.. forgive me but as a mother, I cant take such bully...

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  2. Most of the time, esp on youtube and on blogs of famous/controversial people, I don't check the comments anymore. It's just stressful.

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  3. I totally agree with you Ms. M. People nowadays are embracing freedom of speech too much to the point that they don't think of what others would feel at all.

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  4. Love your take on this issue. It seems many are not aware that our rights / freedom in any form carries a responsibility. We are free to do or say what we want for as long as we're not hurting anyone. I hope this young blogger learns from this experience and use this as a positive motivation to excel in his chosen craft... may he himself (and others / other bloggers) also not resort to what these haters are doing, bashing & bullying... I'm all for positive way of life :)

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  5. true ms m.. sa social media lalo na ang fb ay sobrang mapangabuso ang mga tao sa pnanalita nila.. yung mga taong di muna nagiisip bago magsalita.. kung walang magandang sasabihin bakit di piliing manahimik na lamang..

    freedom of speech doesnt mean na dapat ay abusuhin..

    kahit saan ms m.. madaming taong bastos at masakit magsalita.. sa IG nga mga celebrity pages mismo ang dami..

    nakakalungkot lang ms m.. kahit nga sa ibang bloggers e nakakabasa ako ng di magandang comment.. naisip ko siguro naiinggit lang sila kya ganun sila.. saka sino ba sila para humusga sa kapwa nila.. wala silang karapatan.. si God lang ang pwedeng magjudge satin dahil sya ang lumikha satin..

    hay.. im gonna share some positive vibes na lang ms m!

    What made my day today:

    "Saving Grace: Canadian rushes to Ormoc to rescue fiancee"

    link: http://globalnation.inquirer.net/92217/canadian-rescues-filipina-fiancee-from-typhoon-ravaged-ormoc-marries-her

    nakakainspire! sharing good vibes to everyone =)



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  6. This is so true! I totally agree with you! Everybody should remember this quote whenever they're posting comments or opinions!

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  7. hay, a lot of people always say they are practicing their freedom of speech, para saan pa daw yun kung di gagamitin. nakaka-stress sila.

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  8. We cannot please everybody. ganyan talaga, Hindi balance if walang cons and puro pros. I hate to read such immature, nasty and rude comments pero wala na siguro makakapgabago skanila. How i wish he wont let those negative and rude comments affect his passion and just continue on what he like doing. There are a lot of people naman natutuwa sakanya. Ang mahalaga walang tinatapakang tao... sumikat sya using his own effort and he should be proud of himself

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  9. i agree! i feel so sad whenever I read rude comments on some blogs that I visit.... I mean, I am not that kind but I am not that rude either... sana kung walang magandang sasabihin, wag na lang magsalita....

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  10. I feel sad for the kid. He doesn't deserve those cruel words. But I guess if you're really a public figure, you can't avoid those scenarios... I myself know that even though you try your best to ignore all the negative comments about you, you still can't avoid on getting hurt...

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  11. If that's the case, he's a must-follow!

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  12. Winnie: Some people can be just so uncivilized sometimes. :p

    Roselsmomdiary: I guess! :D

    Hazel: That's true, and no one's taking away the freedom to be hurt from any person. But the most important thing, in the end, is to just rise above it all. There's no way to go but up!

    Issa: True! If you won't say anything good, just shut up. :D

    Leilani: Agree!

    Arra: But they have completely forgotten that freedom comes with a responsibility.

    Anne: :)

    Rhain: Thanks for sharing some positive vibes! :D Sharing some to you as well! :D

    Kat and Gen Zel: Agree. On another note, I think these people hate themselves as well and they're unaware that it's manifesting in whatever they do.

    Rae: That's why I don't watch Youtube vids anymore, except Cats and Dogs 101. :)

    Winnie: Hay. So sad. Wonder how the mother of Aaron is feeling, if ever she has read the comments.

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Thank you for your comments!