COFFEE CONVERSATIONS: Sometimes, it's okay to quit

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I had this very insightful conversation about quitting with a friend. We are both in this dilemma of quitting on something (don't worry, my blog is not the subject here), but we couldn't seem to do it and doing so seemed horrible as there was this push-pull feeling inside us compounded with the demands of society, our colleagues, family, friends, and careers. Staying seemed to be the laudable choice, then we begin to question: "Do we really want to stay?"

At the end of it all, my friend decided to quit. As for me, it is not the option yet, but maybe when the time is ripe for quitting, it would much be easier for me to just say goodbye.

Sometimes, it's okay to quit in order to find peace.

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There are dime a dozen literatures out there that tell you to be successful, to just get after something, and to just be on top of the world, but literatures about quitting and quitting gracefully are just few and rare, or maybe, there are none at all. I wish everyone knew that quitting is just as effin' hard as succeeding.

Why do people (I, for one) find it so hard to quit? Oh, because we promised ourselves and the world that we're gonna be great, be strong, be fabulous, be awesome, and be powerful. The world is so hooked on the worldly definition of success that oftentimes, we sacrifice inner success (which is equally important, don't we forget) like being at peace-sadly, we don't like 'inner success' because we're all wired to 'go for the gold' and quitting has always been tantamount to failure and sadness--yeah, we're all one track- minded just like that.

I guess when things are stressing you out more than challenging you and you can't see yourself traveling a certain path any longer, then it's time to quit. Sometimes, you just have to drop all the advice you've read in self- help and success books and shut your ears from the nagging society, and just seek advice from the within. I believe you know what's best for you and if your heart is telling you to quit, then maybe, you should. If all signs are leading to the exit door, then don't bother finding a reason to stay. Is it worth sacrificing your peace for something that is, after all, futile?

Quitting is bitter in the beginning, just like success. Depends on how one sees quitting, it could be a new gateway to better, brighter, shinier things. Quitting could be a key to a better you, to a better opportunity, or to a better state of mind-you just have to trust that it will. 

Even if quitting would lead me farther from my goal at this point except to a more peaceful me, I'd be happy to have that because folks, peace is rare-it is easier to earn money than to find peace. If I will have to go a step backwards or much worse, be left with nothing when I quit, but I have that elusive peace with me, I guess I haven't lost after all.

Peace, guys (no pun intended).

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8 Lovely Thoughts

  1. Aw. I can really relate to what you've said. And I agree with you all the way. It's really really hard to quit on something, especially if people sees you through that thing. Anyway, I'm also in that state right now. I'm thinking of quitting because I gain nothing already from it. :) I don't know but I'll still think about it more.

  2. "quitting is just as effin' hard as succeeding" -This is just so true. For me I think, quitting requires a lot of thinking before you quit on something. Especially if its something you have been doing for a very longtime. And I think quitting something depends on the situation itself. :) Love this segment. I can totally learn something :D

  3. Can I also add that some people don't quit because they're afraid to leave their comfort zone? Like in my case, I'm scared to leave my job because it's what I've been doing for the past 2 years with minimal changes/challenges and since I'm so used to doing it that I don't wanna leave because I'm too scared to leave my comfort zone. I'm like, "I don't know what else to do, what if I fail?"

    So yeah, leaving comfort zone and failing.. *sigh*

    But then again, if you see the people you helped and the friends you made, that makes staying worth it, right?

  4. It's difficult for me to quit because I feel like a failure. I have this feeling of, maybe I should do it another way, maybe I should push more, maybe I should be more patient.

    But sometimes, it's really better to quit.

  5. i could relate to it, one of the instances i do quit is having an old friends whom i considered as my sister and gets to a point where i looked for a job for them to earn something and help them individually but in the end due to a small misunderstanding though i am in a "tampo" mode,i reached to them para lang mawala na yung tampuhan and the dramas...but yet ikaw na yung lumapit ,they would reject you not once but twice and they're ver boastful of saying..."NO..NO" so with this experience i know it's really painful but i do want an inner peace,you're right martha.. sometimes quitting would make you taste the bitter thing but the bitter it is...the better. WHY??? it would make you more stronger and braver than ever before. ;)

  6. Anne22: Agree with what you said. You only leave when there's no reason for you to stay. :)

    Scatterbraintures: Yeah, I get you. But sometimes, quitting is the answer.

    Itsmefati: You're welcome. :)

    Abegaill: Yeah, I agree. I guess external expectations make quitting harder!

    Julia: Yup, agree with this too. Sometimes, there are people that we're meant to be with for just a short while.

  7. I like it when you post non-beauty slash slice of life post. ( It's not that I don't like beauty related stuff hehe) I believe in "Choose your conflicts" motto. There are times that we expect so much from ourselves because we know we can do it but maybe it's not a battle we need to fight. There are things that are not fit for us. Sometimes we like to be a Doctor but we're meant to be a Nurse ( lame analogy) Anyway good luck with your decision. There's a moment in my life that I trade my inner peace and joy for the one I truly love. It's difficult but at the end of the day it's your choice to make.

  8. i already miss your "coffee conversations" and "recipes" post that is why im back hopping on your previous posts ms m, i do agree with you, quitting is not easy because we always have "small hopes in our hearts" there are times when i taught of quitting.. (sometimes i think if i can quit my job -- because there are personal issues involved here) but half part of my mind is sayin: No you cannot quit your job, i've been a document controller for almost a decade (yes ms m, i started working since i was 18) and i have already mastered my job -- i dont get promotions, why because of discrimination, im not a four year course graduate that is why, but why i cannot quit my job, i consider a lot of things, this is a day job no night shifts, the work area is near to my place, and i love my job (not the company) i may not be paid the amount i wanted but i have peace of mind.. maybe that is why i cannot quit now.

    But if God permits to have a better one i will trust His plans, because His plans are much better than what we have in our mind.


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