You're not there yet and it's fine

Coffee Conversations: You are not there yet, but you are fine.

If I were to describe this long ASEAN holiday, I'd say it's quite meditative. I've been in and out coffee shops this week, practically doing nothing (nothing related to work, I mean) by just enjoying a cup of coffee or sometimes, catching up on my titles. It has been a meditative week because I'd hear people talk about meanings beyond work like the essence of friendship, space and beyond, love, and life. I have a keen sense of hearing and even if I don't intend to eavesdrop, I manage to hear what people talk about.

Inspired by these conversations, I pondered where I am at this point in my life; I realized that I am still far from where I want to be and at times, I feel lost, but somehow, in the middle of chaos, I feel fine. I am slowly but surely accepting that I must run my own race.


Social Media has made us wiser and also, more bitter and jealous. There are studies that revealed how social media causes depression because #blessed posts lead to dissatisfaction, isolation, and what else? Jealousy.

What brought us here? Somewhere along the way, the pressure to maintain a certain image on social media has become a rule: that's why some should travel often, should wear the latest clothes, sport the latest lipstick shade, own the newest gadget, and everyone should either be changing the world or becoming an entrepreneur, leading to a life of discontent, delusion, and frustration, making us forget that we should be running our own race. 

I once tried to keep up with branded bag enthusiasts; I had a list of bags that I would buy every year, but the reality was even if I can save up for it, it wasn't ideal for someone who didn't come from a rich background to begin with and was only beginning to earn.

And then comes entrepreneurship. I started my own business because I wanted to. However, it wasn't going the pace I wanted and seeing my peers who have started their own businesses accelerating everyday just didn't help the misery. I wanted so bad to keep up because the reality for most is people like you when you're successful.

The branded bag and entrepreneurship stories are just some of them; I've experienced a dozen of similar situations, situations wherein I had to run a race that wasn't my own.

"RUN YOUR OWN RACE"

In the midst of frustration, a silver lining. I came across this quote one day and it's like a cold splash of water hit my nape. Slowly, I began to reflect on what race I should be really running for.

The race that you should be running for is your own. In the words of Mary Schmich from her timeless speech, WEAR SUNSCREEN:

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself."

We find ourselves most of the time sulking why we're behind or lost in this race of life. When confronted by these feelings, here are helpful mental shifts to take note of:


1. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

- Somewhere, there's also a soul, just like you, who's going through what you're going through. It's comforting to know that the world is never really against you.

2. NO ONE HAD IT EASY, REALLY

- I used to think that those who are very successful had it easy just because they had money in the beginning, an investor, connections, etc. I realized that everyone is also working hard, just like me, regardless of the background, when a very rich friend of mine recounted how he would become a delivery guy on most days for his own business. Listen to their success, but seek their journey as well.

3. ISOLATE

- In a good way. Learn how to cut through the noise in your head and how to find your way out of a social chaos. To run your own race is to take control of your situation.

4. SAY YES TO THINGS THAT MATTER TO YOU

- No thanks to social media, the burden of keeping up has been plaguing us now more than ever. In my 29 years of existence, I've learned that one of the keys to a happy journey is to say yes and give your best shot to things that make your heart sing.

Nowadays, when I'm confronted with the question "Where are you now?" I just tell myself that I am where I'm supposed to be; I may be ahead or behind, but what matters is I'm moving forward and most importantly, I'm running a race that's completely my own.

So you're not an entrepreneur, nor instafamous, nor solving the world's problem on ocean trash. So what? It may or may not be your journey, but who knows? Trust in the timing of your life and don't forget to enjoy every step of your journey.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Beauty. Fitness. Fashion. Food. Travel. Unicorns. World Peace. Digify Corporation.

15 Lovely Thoughts

  1. I am currently feeling lost on where I want my life to be actually. I tried enrolling in a foreign language school because that was what I liked that time and thought that I can get a good pay here in the Philippines as an interpreter. Failed, twice. Then came the surge of online businesses. Of course, I jumped on the bandwagon. I even borrowed cash from my friend just to start my own shop. Everything was going perfectly in my mind. But then, things don't really go well in my shop because it wasn't really what I wanted. I also want to take up blogging but I'm not sure if I can give my all for it. Up until now, I am still lost on where I should be. What I should be doing. But, I'll take my time. I have read a quote and applying it also very well: DO NOT COMPARE YOUR PAGE 1 TO SOMEONE ELSE'S PAGE 20. Let us not give up, Ms. Martha!

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  2. This is so inpsiring Ms Martha..👌💖💕💗 And its tru u have to run ur own race amd dont compare to others. 😊

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  3. Ms. Martha ang gnda po, tgos2 s kalu2wa at ktawng lupa ko. My iniscreen shot nga po aq n post dto po s blog abg gnda po kc meaning. Bgla tuly aq npaisip until now prng tuma2 skin kc naransan ko yan, totoo un inggit npakalaking factor un hndi mo maiwasn mgcmpre ng sarili mo s iba lalo n s mga friends po. Na prng ang lau n nila at ako mukhng nahuhuli dhil un karera n hinhabol ko hndi pla pra skin, walng kuntento, s huli nkakapgod at gsto m ng bumgay dhil hndi n masya. Tma po kau dto s blog nio, nevr compete to anyone hndi mgiging masya. Prng my naala2 aqng tula un caption nia po knti "we are the master of our faith" or captain ata un, hndi ko n kabisado. Signs of aging n aq, lol!!! Makakalimutin na. Ang sarp din mgmuni-muni minsan, un mglook back at isipin lhat, nkakatwa un iba, my nkakatanga lng din, at sasabhin ang iksi ng buhay, ng oras kc mrmi p aqng gstng gwin s buhay ko. Klngn lng din ienjoy ang life, kc hndi n mauulit pa.

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  4. I love your words of wisdom madam. Positive lang tlga dapat palagi, don't mind others, wg maging inggitera and above all, wag susuko sa buhay! habang Buhay pa tayo, may magagawa pa talga tayo, unlimited po, we just have to do it, whatever that is bsta tama. Ako, nasa point ako now ng life ko na I'm still thinking na tapos nako, wala nako pag-asa sa buhay, I'm a 23 year old Single Mother sa 2 kids ko, I'm still here, ng-aalaga sa kids ko and sa lola ko, helping my Mama too sa gawaing bahay, but my mind is not just here, sitting and wondering po, I have plans, I'm making plans na po sa mg work na papasukin ko, mostly abroad po kasi I'm undergraduate sa college but there's a lot of ways pra tlga maachieve ung work na gusto ko. First, I never imagine mag work sa office, NO, I really imagine na mgwowork ako sa sariling business na gusto ko, until now that's my goal. I'm gonna work hard alone muna, online andami dba, andun din mahahasa skills ko at experiences na din. I will not waste time kapag nastart ko na un. Right now, I'm fighting, reading and watching positive articles like yours madam. Love ya!

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  5. been having realizations in head too... :)

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  6. This post is just so timely. I am more of an organized neat freak that thinks that everything needs a plan, and everything needs to go smoothly for it to be successful. Of course with that kind of mindset, I think I went nuts. Lol. But seriously, it has made me such a nervous wreck, filling my mind with anxiety and worry. Sometimes there are those days when you question "what the hell am I doing with my life?", "what is my life's purpose?" but slowly I have accepted that not everything goes according to plan and that we go through life at our own pace. I love posts like this because sometimes we can get overwhelm with life. We need to take a step back and appreciate life for what it is. Thank yo so much for sharing this!

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    1. Ang hirap diba kapag we strive to be too perfect para hindi tayo masyadong mahusgahan ng pangit ng ibang tao. And in trying to keep everything in perfect, we lose ourselves.

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  7. I needed this right now. Currently in a tight situation in college where everyone is just competitive as HELL. My course is ending up being a toxic one. People usually get lost around their 1st or 2nd year. It's just hella crazy in this one. At my stage, usually people in my year and course are all about doubting their existence in general. Symptoms of mental illnesses are pretty common. Your post is very timely indeed. I'm usually a reader of inspirational messages, but recently, I haven't had the time for reading those plus self-care. Stumbling upon a post like this in your blog is truly remarkable. Saktong sakto po. I get to be reminded of the things that actually matter in life, the things I tend to forget because of my college's toxic education system. For that, I am truly thankful that you take the time to write something like this for your readers. Thank you so much, Ms. Martha! Will put your words up on my wall!

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  8. May time na as in gusto ko ng sumuko yung pakiramdam mo na ikaw lang ang nahihirapan na mas importate pa ang ibang tao kesa sayo yung pagod na ang physical at emotion mo sa kakaiyak na hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, thank God po talaga at napigilan ko ang pag iisip ng kung ano at Hindi ako nag iisa may Anak akong nag mamahal sakin at kaylangan ako na wag sumuko at lumaban lang. Tumingin nalang sa magagandang bagay sa buhay.

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  9. Yun mommy self ko ang naka relate sa post na ito. As a mom, I try my best to prepare my child for the wild, tough world. This morning, I got her school report card and I was so surprised to see that she is on the 2nd spot in class and she got really high grades. I always remind myself not to compare her to others and I also want her to keep it in her mind that she should do her best not because she is competing with her classmates but because she wants to get high grades, preferably higher than her previous. Yun pagkukumpara kasi marami masama naiibunga. Inggit, galit, kawalan ng tiwala sa sarili at sama ng loob.

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  10. Very insightful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Sometimes we push ourselves too hard and we forget to take the time to appreciate and celebrate what we have accomplished so far.

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  11. "Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself."
    Thank you for sharing this Ms. Martha! Will surely put it somewhere I can see it everyday. Been feeling lost and empty lately and this post is just so wooowq! So timely that I'm deeply moved..Thank you for the reminder that what matters is that we are moving forward - to TRUST the timing in our life and definitely to run our own race. Such lovely words!!! Thank you so much!

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  12. I'm now suffering what they call is "mid-life crisis" I've finished college and now what? I've been raised and trained to finished my studies (nothing is wrong with that) it is just that I sometime think that I have to do more but, in the end of the day what matters to me is that I'm happy and content with what I have and who I am.

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  13. Martha! this is a one your good posts. Relatable and very inspiring.

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  14. TBJ, I can so much relate to your post. All my life I have always been competitive because I was raised that way. In gradeschool and highschool, I was the class valedictorian. I got into UPD Engineering in college and eventually got a good job. At a young age, I got myself a managerial position in an investment/real estate company. People think I have it easy, but in fact, I am so pressured right now. I feel like I am not good enough for a position that I think is too challenging for me. This scares the hell out of me because I am not used to failing - I've always been at the top of all things. Your post is so timely. It makes me realized that I don't always have to be Ms. Perfect, and that it is okay to commit mistakes and get lost sometimes. I just hope that one day - I will be able to fully embrace the reality that life will not always be a bed of roses. Yes, we will fail, but what matters is that we learn from it.

    Thanks, Martha for this post! :)

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Thank you for your comments!