You're not there yet and it's fine

Coffee Conversations: You are not there yet, but you are fine.

If I were to describe this long ASEAN holiday, I'd say it's quite meditative. I've been in and out coffee shops this week, practically doing nothing (nothing related to work, I mean) by just enjoying a cup of coffee or sometimes, catching up on my titles. It has been a meditative week because I'd hear people talk about meanings beyond work like the essence of friendship, space and beyond, love, and life. I have a keen sense of hearing and even if I don't intend to eavesdrop, I manage to hear what people talk about.

Inspired by these conversations, I pondered where I am at this point in my life; I realized that I am still far from where I want to be and at times, I feel lost, but somehow, in the middle of chaos, I feel fine. I am slowly but surely accepting that I must run my own race.

Social Media has made us wiser and also, more bitter and jealous. There are studies that revealed how social media causes depression because #blessed posts lead to dissatisfaction, isolation, and what else? Jealousy.

What brought us here? Somewhere along the way, the pressure to maintain a certain image on social media has become a rule: that's why some should travel often, should wear the latest clothes, sport the latest lipstick shade, own the newest gadget, and everyone should either be changing the world or becoming an entrepreneur, leading to a life of discontent, delusion, and frustration, making us forget that we should be running our own race. 

I once tried to keep up with branded bag enthusiasts; I had a list of bags that I would buy every year, but the reality was even if I can save up for it, it wasn't ideal for someone who didn't come from a rich background to begin with and was only beginning to earn.

And then comes entrepreneurship. I started my own business because I wanted to. However, it wasn't going the pace I wanted and seeing my peers who have started their own businesses accelerating everyday just didn't help the misery. I wanted so bad to keep up because the reality for most is people like you when you're successful.

The branded bag and entrepreneurship stories are just some of them; I've experienced a dozen of similar situations, situations wherein I had to run a race that wasn't my own.

"RUN YOUR OWN RACE"

In the midst of frustration, a silver lining. I came across this quote one day and it's like a cold splash of water hit my nape. Slowly, I began to reflect on what race I should be really running for.

The race that you should be running for is your own. In the words of Mary Schmich from her timeless speech, WEAR SUNSCREEN:

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself."

We find ourselves most of the time sulking why we're behind or lost in this race of life. When confronted by these feelings, here are helpful mental shifts to take note of:

1. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

- Somewhere, there's also a soul, just like you, who's going through what you're going through. It's comforting to know that the world is never really against you.

2. NO ONE HAD IT EASY, REALLY

- I used to think that those who are very successful had it easy just because they had money in the beginning, an investor, connections, etc. I realized that everyone is also working hard, just like me, regardless of the background, when a very rich friend of mine recounted how he would become a delivery guy on most days for his own business. Listen to their success, but seek their journey as well.

3. ISOLATE

- In a good way. Learn how to cut through the noise in your head and how to find your way out of a social chaos. To run your own race is to take control of your situation.

4. SAY YES TO THINGS THAT MATTER TO YOU

- No thanks to social media, the burden of keeping up has been plaguing us now more than ever. In my 29 years of existence, I've learned that one of the keys to a happy journey is to say yes and give your best shot to things that make your heart sing.

Nowadays, when I'm confronted with the question "Where are you now?" I just tell myself that I am where I'm supposed to be; I may be ahead or behind, but what matters is I'm moving forward and most importantly, I'm running a race that's completely my own.

So you're not an entrepreneur, nor instafamous, nor solving the world's problem on ocean trash. So what? It may or may not be your journey, but who knows? Trust in the timing of your life and don't forget to enjoy every step of your journey.