COFFEE CONVERSATIONS: On Easter awakenings and defeating Defeatism (edited)

Easter ain’t that special to me anymore, as I’ve been celebrating it with my family for as long as I can remember. But it was only yesterday that I have come to realize the true meaning of Easter.

I’ll be a bit open to you guys. I’ve been feeling down lately for a couple of reasons: frustration, anxiety, and societal pressure (plus self- inflicted pressure). On top of that, I have real- life and family concerns to consider. This sadness has been going on for a month now, and I'm afraid I'll go in a downward spiral if I continue with this feeling.

I’ve grown spiritually over the past few months, and I have become more and more positive and grateful. But I have to admit that I’m human, and I fall sometimes when the going gets tough. I can’t feel God’s presence in my life now, until yesterday.

Yesterday was a very beautiful day: the air was filled with a melodious sound emanating from the bell tower of a nearby church. The weather was warm, and the beautiful rays of sunlight shone on my little window as it gave the whole neighborhood a gentle yellow glow. Tiny birds flew across the air, happily chirping and meeting up with their kind from rooftop to rooftop. Toddlers were riding their toy bikes, while the grown up kids explode in bursts of laughter as they play hide and seek. Our neighbors and their dogs tread happily across the street, and from afar, I could see colorful beach balls flying in the air at the clubhouse. It’s their way of celebrating the momentous day of Christ’s resurrection. But to me, yesterday was just a pretty ordinary day---only noisier. Duke the Beagle entered my room, jumped on my lap, and happily wagged his tail, as if he wanted to go outside and celebrate with the happy neighborhood. I just shooed him away, lied down on my bed, and succumbed to worry and sadness. I also felt a wee bit frustrated because I was aware of how beautiful yesterday was, but I couldn't appreciate it.

Out of the blue, I asked: “God, talk to me. What’s your advice?” I closed my eyes, patiently waiting for an answer. But God did not come to my aid. And I felt sad even more.

“Maybe I need to do something that will make me feel good”, I told myself. So I got up, dressed up, and went to the mall to get a manicure, pedicure, and brow threading, and heard mass.

I’m back to hearing mass again, as I’ve stopped hearing mass a couple of years back. Long story though. Nope, I didn’t become religious. According to the teachings on spirituality, you still have to have a place of worship—like a place where you visit a mentor for your daily teaching. The Church has a whole new meaning to me now. I go there for personal worship, and not because my religion said so. But even if I'm a church- goer now, I am still selective of what I listen to during mass because I have a lot of questions about the ways of religion. I’m not starting an argument here though. It’s just my belief and opinion.

Anyway, I don’t remember what yesterday’s gospel was all about, but I only heard and picked up one line:

“God has promised us a happy ending. If hindi pa happy ang life mo, hindi pa yan ang ending mo.”

Ouch. Those words were like spears that wounded my heart, and I felt like crying during mass. But I guess I needed to bleed (metaphorically) to realize that God has been talking to me all this time, yet I always refuse to listen. I was meant to hear and feel that line because it was God’s answer to all of my biggest questions.

Photo credits: heartsofcompassioninternational.blogspot.com

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE: We treat God as someone who’s only watching us from above, that’s why we are so disconnected from him. I believe that this is the reason why we think he never comes to us when we need him the most. I firmly believe that he is with us here on earth, ready to come to our aid when we ask. But God speaks to us in codes. He will not come down from heaven on a bunch of clouds and tell us the exact answers to our biggest questions because he knows were more than that---He treats us as powerful and intelligent beings. He has fashioned us in his image and likeness therefore, we are Him. We have God- like powers that we have to discover for ourselves. He wants us to realize that we have always known the answers to our own questions. Remember that when you ask, he always answers. He may not give you tangible answers, but he’s going to give you ways to get it. The answer you’re looking for could be an ad on the radio, a remarkable line from your favorite TV show, a message from a friend, something symbolic like a sunny and happy day, or something as simple as a bright idea or an intuition. God ALWAYS answers. We just have to be sensitive and connected to the world to decipher his message.

Photo credits: mistakesaregoodies.wordpress.com

That beautiful Sunday was no accident. It was one of God's ways to make me realize that it's all good. My happy dog was him telling me that I should walk and breathe some fresh air to ease my mind, and that beautiful line was his ultimate message. I was wrong. He was indeed answering me every single time.

I’ve come to realize that Easter Sundays are all about defeating defeatism. The world is so tough that it makes us feel defeated most of the time, but it's up to us to decide whether we'll be the victim or the victor. Your ending is entirely up to you. Easter Sunday is not merely a celebration of the literal meaning of Christ’s resurrection. It’s all about YOUR RESURRECTION. Easter is a day for us to start fulfilling the happy endings he has promised us.

I feel so much better now. It’s like I’ve been renewed after a long time. Belated Happy Easter, and may you have a blessed week ahead of you.

How about you? What was your Easter Sunday experience?