On Hard Work and Delaying Gratification

P.S. It's long but worthwhile. :D

Are you guys familiar with Walter Mischel and company's STANFORD MARSHMALLOW EXPERIMENT, a popular behavioral test that was conducted sometime in 1970? To those who aren't, in a nutshell, it goes something like this:

Photo Credits: european-americanblog.blogspot.com

A group of preschoolers were led into a room with plates of treats such as marshmallows, cookies, and pretzels placed atop a table. The experimenter had instructed the kids to wait for 15 minutes before they eat the marshmallow designated to them. Those who will abide will get a second treat when the experimenter comes back to the room. The experimenter then left the room, and little did the children know that they were being observed. In as little as six minutes, a majority of the children had eaten the marshmallows, while a few had patiently waited for the experimenter to return. Later on, Mischel and his group had followed up the participants of the experiment and they have found out that those who did not eat the marshmallow turned out to be the more successful ones as opposed to those who did.

The experiment suggested that there is a correlation between delayed gratification and success-those who are willing to push aside little rewards for bigger ones are more likely to succeed in life.

Photo Credits: torontosun.com

A lot of Filipinos cannot resist the marshmallow. (Don't deny it. It's true) Tommanny Tan, CEO and Founder of Fern Group of Companies said that there are two things that impede the financial success of many Filipinos:

1. MOST FILIPINOS ARE ONE DAY MILLIONAIRES

- Filipinos love spending their hard- earned money all at once, and would always use the petty excuse that they could always save up in the future. This is very much true because I have been one myself, and there are friends of mine who are loud and proud one day millionaires. Much worse, there are those who allot their salary for material pleasures.

2. MOST FILIPINOS LOVE LITTLE REWARDS

- I let out a loud laugh when I heard this because I immediately recalled all my insignificant hauls that I'd like to call, a waste of time and money. Again, this is very much true because most Pinoys are impatient: They settle for little rewards because it's easier to acquire, don't even require a tiny sacrifice, or don't demand them to move away from their comfort zone, whereas bigger rewards take longer to achieve and require bigger sacrifices and risks. In short, most of us love mediocrity. Blame it on the "Simpleng Buhay" mentality that is prevalent amongst Filipinos.

In relation to # 1, there is another kind of impediment I had observed, and that is most Filipinos are advanced millionaires: They rely on their credit cards, loan from banks, and borrow money from the rich just to sustain their lifestyles or buy their rewards at the very least. In the end, they spend a better part of their lives working to pay off debts and what's even worse is, they pass on their debts to their children!

So here's my Marshmallow experience: I had developed a passionate love for this Furla Candy Bauletto bag-I really worked hard for it but in the end, I was flat broke on my arse because I had only worked just so I could buy it. I was very happy because I got the bag, but very sad because I was broke and didn't know where to get money. I've realized that happiness is not about having the things you want the most, but having them without the guilt and worry. This bag is a blessing after all because whenever I see it, I am always reminded that being in financial limbo is one of the most terrible situations in life, and I should never get into that experience ever again. :p

I guess I was the first kid who ate the marshmallow. But hey, the beauty of being a Human Being is that we have the capacity and intelligence to change. I believe that behavioral tests such as the Marshmallow Experiment DOES NOT determine our destiny--it's merely a checkpoint so we'd know how to plan our lives for the better.

I used to indulge in tiny rewards- I loved shopping every time I get my honorarium. Most of my purchases are not at all cheap but to be honest, in terms of value, they are not that significant. They're so common that they do not remind me of a single valuable lesson, apart from the nice feeling I got when I've purchased them. Then one day, I told myself that I've had enough of this mediocre life because it felt like it was leading to nowhere so I've put my foot down and declared that I will push myself to the limit.

2012 was my financial planning year--the year where I have set a Financial Goal for myself and decided to practice Deferred Gratification. Incidentally, it was my most financially blessed year but you know what? I don't remember myself indulging in shopping sprees--not even once. I didn't even take advantage of sales. Whenever I had to purchase something, I made sure it was essential and necessary. I've had major successes last year, but I have never thought of rewarding myself with little stuff like shoes, clothes, accessories, perfume, or makeup--just a simple restaurant treat and if I remember it correctly, I only splurged on restos for about 5 to 8 times last 2012. My only priority was my everyday expenses such as normal food and transportation--nothing else.

It's easy for you to think that I had beaten myself up for being too frugal but nope, I don't think of it that way. It just required me to shift my consciousness-to take delight in and look forward to the bigger promises of the future while I go through Annica. (the Impermanence which I always attribute to sacrifices) But I have to admit it wasn't easy-besides, nobody said it was! There were a lot of times wherein I was tempted to give up on my promises but I held on and pushed through.

 But I'm still human, and I also needed a reward to push myself further this 2013. I'm not a masochist! LOL! I've promised myself last year that once I hit my financial goal, I will buy one of my ultimate dream items. And in the succeeding months and years, I will only focus on my dreams and won't let little rewards divert my focus from my real goals. But if I don't hit my financial goal, then no reward for me-It's that simple. :) This condition has actually forced me to speed up! And to cut this blabber short, I've hit my financial goal (and exceeded it by 15%) and just as planned, I have bought my reward last December 28 to cap off my wonderful 2012. My, I never knew Deferred Gratification could be this lovely! :D

So what is inside the Prada paper bag? You will know when you click READ MORE. Off topic: I will also tell you where you can score the CHEAPEST place to get authentic luxury handbags and leathergoods online. :)

 TADAH! It's a brand new Prada Tessuto Gaufre' BN1789M in Nero-I am proud to say that every single centavo that was spent on this bag came from my pocket!

I fell in love with this bag two years ago and finally, I have one. For me, there's really no better way for a woman to reward herself after a successful feat but with a luxury arm candy. (I'm biased, I know-Because I just love handbags!) Actually, I had my eyes fixed on the BN1336 style but unfortunately, Prada had discontinued the first Gaufre' styles and started replacing them at the latter part of 2012. This style replaces BN1792.

 And no ma, this is not another Furla Candy Bauletto moment. This bag was in mind, but it was never a priority. That's why I almost delayed my purchase because I thought I won't be able to hit my 2012 financial goal. Well, God always finds ways for you indeed. :)

Going back to the bag, I wanted a functional, timeless, and useful bag: One that can look good with almost anything, can accommodate a lot of stuff, and become classy and laid-back with just a little tweak-and I thought that this bag is just perfect.

I also got myself The Leather Satchel & Co.'s Tallboy in Loch Blue. It's a little lighter than Cambridge Satchel's satchels. I love the vintage blue color, and it makes a great laptop/document bag!

Back to the Prada bag: Whenever I see this bag, I always feel blessed, thankful, and above all, it has inspired me to reach even greater heights. Also, it reminds me that there is nothing impossible if you have the heart of a winner and the willingness to work hard. (and smart!) :D

So if you've been eating the first Marshmallow in sight for the longest time, just always bear in mind that you always have the choice to push the plate away from you. Well in the end, it's always your choice. So the next time life offers you a piece of marshmallow and promises you a New York Cheesecake as a reward if you don't eat it, I hope you know what to do. :) 

So where did I get my bag?

I got my bag from Ms. Cynthia Bumstead, the owner of Shop a Bag!, a Facebook boutique that carries 100% authentic luxury brands such as Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Hermes, Lanvin, YSL, Bottega Veneta, Celine, Balenciaga, Givenchy, Furla, Lanvin, and Prada. She also distributes The Leather Satchel and Co. bags. I did a lot of canvassing for the Gaufre' and by far, Ms. Cynthia still offers the CHEAPEST prices online for brand new and pre- owned luxury handbags and leathergoods. Shop a Bag! sources bags from authorized retailers in Europe, and tries to be at par with the Euro pricing. They have on-hand stuff all the time, and they can also pre- order the specific bag you want.

I would also like to laud her professional customer service: She replies to SMS messages promptly, is polite in answering even the most insignificant queries, (lol. I had a lot of those!) and most of all, she's willing to do a meet up! I'd also like to thank you, Ms. Cynthia, if ever you are reading this, for agreeing to meet up with me despite the short notice. And thanks a lot to your nice and accommodating husband, John. :)

Here are some of the arm (and eye) candies she's carrying:

By the way, this Rose Thulian Balenciaga Classic City is my 2013 reward. So help me God. :)

To the bag hags out there, you now know where you can score cheaper luxury hand bags. Please visit SHOP A BAG! on Facebook to view Ms. Cynthia's entire listing.

I hope you have enjoyed this post. Have a happy Friday, and STAY INSPIRED! :)