FAN MAIL FRIDAYS: 6 Ways To Get To 6 Years

Of course I wouldn't end the week without your much- awaited Fan Mail Fridays blog post. Just been very busy today so sorry for the late post. But sometimes, it's better late than never, right? :D

Who's up for some relationship advice? :) I could sense your digital excitement! The question is from Athena and she asks:

Hi Martha! 

This is not beauty- related, but I hope you'd still pick it for your Fan Mail Fridays posts.

I've been a silent stalker of your blog and Instagram for over 3 months now. Your blog is literally a bible about beauty and I think you already answered whatever beauty dilemma I have. (If something comes up and I don't see an answer in your blog, I'll definitely ask you about it!) Now my question is a lil' personal, but I hope you don't mind. :) 

I know you and your boyfriend are happy with your relationship (It shows in your IG photos!). I have a BF and we are a fairly new couple. (4 months to be exact) I know it's too early to tell that he's already my forever, but all I know is I want our relationship to last because he's very different from my ex-bfs. My question is, how do you make a relationship last without that burned out feeling? What do you do precisely to stay happy with your partner? I'd definitely appreciate your reply. I hope to bump into you soon! 

Athena

Hi Athena!

Nice question! I hope to bump into you soon-it would be awesome if the scenario is, I'm with my BF and you are with yours. Double date, perhaps? :D

To be honest, I had doubts about answering your question because my Bf and I's past was very bumpy and imperfect. Then I realized, there's no perfect relationship anyway and being together for 6 years is a feat considering that we are both good looking. (Alright, kids, I'm tripping. You can shoot me now hahahaha!)

I won't tell you how to reach the settling down stage because personally, I'm not there yet. What I can tell you is how you and your boyfriend can last for a long time, possibly 6 years, like me and my BF. (It's quite long already in my books!) 

Click READ MORE for the 6 ways. :)

Photo Credits: rock.rapgenius.com

1. DON'T EXPECT YOU'LL LAST FOREVER

- Shocking? To tell you frankly, this is the best way to make your relationship last forever, or for a very long time at the very least. (It worked for me) At first, when my BF and I were talking about being together forever, it was sweet and I hoped that the mushy conversations would never end. But people get tired. People get scared. Above all, people change. A few months before graduating from college, my BF and I were already planning about marriage. You know? All those shiz about cars, emergency funds, housing, pregnancy and kid funds. All of a sudden, I became anxious and worried-forever seemed like a beautiful concept a few years back, but it just dawned on me: My decisions have changed. My feet wanted to tread a different route. I didn't want forever anymore. I just wanted now. It was a painful decision, but we had to drift apart for a while to reorganize our thoughts and for us to be clearer when we finally talk again to pin things down. After a few months, we got back together and we're now happier. We both agreed that Now is better than Forever, but at some point, we have to decide. Works for me, works for him. Forever is a series of Nows so just play it cool, have fun, and just add a lil' bit of seriousness. Like what they say: Just go with the flow.

Photo Credits: committed-4-life.com

2. FIND A COMMON INTEREST

- You could both collect gaming cards, travel, take up voice lessons, learn a new instrument, or engage in sports. Up to you. What's important is you should both find a common interest that you can talk about and do all day long together. It shows that you support each other, and it gives the both of you a sense of belongingness.

Photo Credits: stevewright.info

3. STOP COMPARING THE PAST AND THE PRESENT

- When a relationship is new, everything just seems too good to be true: You're together 24/7, he's always waiting for you to finish dressing up then take you to work, and he always sends you a text message every hour. You have to reconcile with the fact that all relationships start this way and plateaus somewhere in the middle and finally requires work-that's the reality of any relationship so don't complain. If he's not consistent already, don't conclude that he doesn't love you anymore and start nagging and recounting the past-like you, he also has a life and responsibilities that he has to attend to. If he still tells you I Love You, makes an effort to see you at least once or twice a week, or ends the day with a sweet sms, be happy with that-it doesn't mean he loves you less-he's just starting to balance his own life and his life with you.

Photo Credits: romanticactoftheday.blogspot.com

4. IMPROVE EACH OTHER

- The person who sticks to your life and memory is always the one who has improved you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I don't know what you have in mind, but start journeying together on a path that will improve your lives. Exercising together is a good start.

Photo Credits: devatude.com

5. TAKE SOME TIME OFF FROM EACH OTHER

- People end their external relationships because they have completely forgotten about their most important relationship of all: With themselves. Go out without him once in a while and chill in a coffee shop. Embark on a getaway with your family, friends, or yourself. At some point, you'll just miss him and you can't wait to be with him again, plus you'll be able to tell him tons of interesting stories.

Photo Credits: blogs.uoregon.edu

6. BE SPIRITUALLY ALIGNED

- I read somewhere that at the end of the day, people will still live and desire for a healthy spirituality. Mind you, spirituality is different from religiosity and don't ever force him to acquire your religious beliefs! Find a cause that interests the both of you. Explore a common belief and discover it together. Whatever it is, it should be something that enriches your individual spirit. Being aligned spiritually doesn't mean you have to believe in the same things all the time-just the mere fact that the both of you are willing to grow your spirituality will already make a significant difference. When the both of you are whole in spirit, you just build a better, happier, and longer relationship.

So that's my list. This is not a list that will work for everyone though-the outcome of your relationship still depends on you. Just be sensitive enough to know if it's still working or not! :)

**Got a burning question about makeups, skin care products, beauty, dieting, and health tips, relationships, and whatever? Just send them to martha.stabarbara@yahoo.com or shoot 'em up at The Beauty Junkee's FB Fan Page via the MESSAGE button and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. (Please, do not send me Math- related queries. :D)