Happy Eid'l Fitr!
I'm playing love doctor today (haha!) because of today's FMF query by Kkumkugo. Not that I'm growing tired of answering beauty- related queries, but I LOVE today's query because it is such a refreshing break from what I usually talk about!
Hi Martha!
I've been following your blog since my first year in college. And now, I'm still an avid fan of yours when it comes to beauty-thingy. But now, I'm gonna ask something else aside from beauty. My question may sound funny to others but how would you exactly know if a guy likes you? *facepalm* This seriously makes me feel embarrassed. I don't plan on breaking my record of NBSB until I can graduate college and find a stable life. *sounds like an old lady haha* kaso my friends always tell me that I'm so numb that I can't feel the feelings of others and exaggerating it into I don't have empathy and that makes me place them in the friend category. So yeah, I want to know what does a guy normally do if he likes a girl? Based on what I've read in your past posts about your personal life, I think you can help me best with this. Thank you very much. More power and God Bless.
Kkumkugo
Hi Kkumkugo!
Story time! When my BF and I started dating, he said straight to my face on probably our third or fourth date that he liked me. I was 19 then so I was weirded out and like: "Wow, that was quick. No physical and mind games or courtship whatsoever? Just that?" I thought it was boring, but 8 years later, I realized that good thing he was upfront about it as it saved me from a lot of emotional hassle aka heartaches. I'm not good at dealing with heartaches, to be honest.
According to experience, you will know if a guy likes you if he tells you straight to your face that he does. Most guys (and this is based on my guy friends' answers) are not really into mind games--they say what they want to say and they mean it. Sure, there are signs to watch out for, but signs can be misinterpreted; If a guy likes you FOR REAL, he will tell you straight.
Please note that all guys are different though: some are straightforward while some are 'torpe' so you must take these into consideration when decoding guys. It's really hard to give advice on very personal matters like this because you're the only one who knows what's happening so instead of enumerating signs that might confuse you further, I'll just say if it feels right, go for it. If it doesn't, walk away.
Regarding your choice to stay NBSB until you graduate, that's your choice and people should not give a damn about it. It doesn't make you less of a woman if you don't have a boyfriend nor a better person if you have one. But if love comes knocking at your door, entertain it. Even if this love fails or succeeds, you will learn something valuable from it, something that you'll never learn from school.
I hope I was able to help you in any way. :)
**Got a burning question about makeups, skin care products, beauty, dieting, and health tips, relationships, and whatever? Just send them to martha.stabarbara@yahoo.com or shoot 'em up at The Beauty Junkee's FB Fan Page via the MESSAGE button and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. (Please, do not send me Math- related queries. :D)
13 Comments
Aww! I was also in the same position as Kkumkugo before. Back then, all of my classmates knew that my boyfriend now likes me. I thought all the while they were just joking and teasing me. Turns out he really did like me and he serenaded me on Valentine's Day of 2012. We were in the same org and had a serenading event where they take in requests and visit the persons on the request, gave them roses and sang them a song. There was another girl they serenaded in the same room as I was and I cheered them on. Little did I know I was also about to be serenaded! Haha. It took me a while to notice his feelings. Now we are about to celebrate our 4th anniversary on September. Sometimes what you've always been waiting for is just in front of you. You just have to look straight. Thanks for this post! :)
ReplyDeletei totally agree. i'm with my partner for almost 5 years now and at the beggining, we both knew we liked each other. well actually "i really like you" is the first thing he said to me when we started getting to know each other. atleast at that time, i knew his intention and i know that he's serious. we didn't waste time and up until now, we're glad that we were straightforward. atleast we didn't waste few years by just "making pakipot" or "friendly dating". instead we spend our time getting to know each other and be together as much as we can. ;)
ReplyDelete-Ms. M, will we soon be hearing wedding bells for you and le bf? *no pressure ;) lol
I had a guy friend who pestered and he was really straightforward. He told me that he likes me and "I love you" so many times which I brushed off simply because I wasn't interested in relationships. After months of pangungulit, care and friendship, I finally fell for this guy and told him I like him too. Then he told me everything he said was a joke. He broke my heart and I got depressed for more than a year. I got crazy I destroyed our friendship even. Another lesson from my experience, not all guys (and girls) say what they want to say and really mean it. I met more guys after who did the same thing to me and to other girls but I was traumatized by what that guy did to me and brushed them all off as well as immediately breaking off our friendship. Yes, I'm awful. One of them really liked me but I broke our friendship even. I was just really scared of getting hurt so bad again. Then I fell for a good guy friend (frenemy, actually haha!) who comforted me during my broken heart year. I told him on his face that I really like him then I found out that he likes me too (longer than I do). I'm currently dating that guy <3. I'm glad that you're dating a straightforward guy, Martha <3
ReplyDeleteYou're good at love advices too! This is so cute topic for today.. Nakakagoodvibes lang:) Super thumbs up on your advices. My boyfriend became my husband too, just like yours we're on our 8th year of happiness and love. *kilig much*
ReplyDeleteOMG #relate! Ang mali ko lang kasi hindi ko na gets na pag sinabihan ka ng "I like you" yun na pala yun. The guy was shaking and stuttering pa when he said it. Haaaaaaay.
ReplyDeleteSame here! I met my husband in April, then on May he said, "Do you want to be a June bride?" KALOKA.
ReplyDeleteBeauty guru and love guru rolled into one, Miss M! Haha. Anyway, hubby also told me straight in my face on our 6th "hang-out" that he liked me too. No roses, no chocolates neither! All he offered me was his companionship and intelligent conversations and I was totally sold! Haha. BTW, I was also 19 at that time. (^-^)
ReplyDeleteKkumkugo, you, planning to finish studies first is something to be proud of and I salute you!
When I was in high school, guys would tell me that they like but I didn't care. I thought that we're too young to know about it. But when my boyfriend now (which was my HS classmate then) told me that he liked me and ran out after, I felt that he's serious. We gave it a try then, broke up after 2 years, then gave it a second try. Broke up again after a year. Then on our last year in college, we decided to have a chit chat with common friends then later on, just the 2 of us. We both realized that we still like each other. So then we rekindled our relationship. Haha. We're turning 3 this December and I really feel he's the one. Everyone around us feels the same way about us too. Like Ms. M's boyfriend, my boyfriend said it straight that he likes me. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's okay if you're a member of the NBSB club as long as you are happy with you're life, family and friends.
ReplyDeleteGuys differ in ways of expressing their feelings. While others are straightforward, some can be intimidated and are too shy. But when the right guy comes, you'll know what to do.
My husband was not so vocal about his feelings. But I know how much he loves me and how much he cares for me. He was my bf for 9 years before we decided to tie the knot. He used to fetch me from school everyday, rain or shine. When I was working, he fetch me from work even if he is working, too. We live in different cities but he tries to see me everyday. On August, we will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary.
Sana maging masaya si Ms. Kkumkugo with whatever she decides to do.
Ms.Martha kapag ikinasal ka, pa giveaway ka ha? Ang prize wedding invitation para sa mga follower/reader mo, hehe! joke lang
Pero pwede mo rin naman i consider yun idea ko, nyahaha!!!
By the way, ang kyooot ni boyfie mo sa photo ninyo!
this post is really #PasokSaBanga for me. thanks for Kkumkugo for bringing this up and you Ms. M for giving your advice on it. :3 #KiniligLang <3
ReplyDeleteI feel for the lady whose burning question provided for a really interesting reaction from most of us.I can somehow relate with the being straight thing,since me and my partner did not go through the normal course of courtship as we know it.Yun bang you were just together to see a great view tapos kayo na ng araw ding iyon.Though I have known him for some time but the decision also relied on this "feeling of being right about something ".Yun bang you do not need to taste the cake to to tell that it's delicious ".Haha,medyo mahirap ipaliwanag eh..So I got to know him more along the way and we grew together like we are also the best of friends and till now we are together. So no foolproof formula in finding love and being successful but every experience must be accounted for as enriching.Just take it slow nga lang if you do accept someone in your life as you get to know each other because from thereon you can make wiser decisions :-)
ReplyDeleteI am already 28 (going 29) years old when I met my first boyfriend. take note: FIRST. So yeah I was a NBSB for 28 years! Just like you I was always being teased about this. Pressuring me on getting into a relationship or forcing myself to like a boy just for the sake of experiencing one. As for me I don't think it's worth it. I don't think it's worth my time to be in a relationship just so I can relate to others. I don't think I have to like a boy just because he told me he likes me. For me I believe that "good things comes to those who waits". So I waited. Sure there were times that I would be tempted to like someone because sometimes I feel alone. but I find myself asking me if it make me happy. I prayed and prayed until he came. we started out as friends and since i am NBSB, I had no idea that he was courting me na pala! all those free lunches, free miryenda, free pamasahe sa jeep and all, he was courting me na pala. and now just last year I married my first and last boyfriend. :)
ReplyDeleteHi everyone, thanks for sharing your experiences. Brings me back to my BF and I's first encounter too haha. #Kilig #Pabebe
ReplyDeleteLet me know what you think of this post! :)