My issue with "Loving yourself"



I'm glad that the dark clouds of societal body standards are finally going away slowly but surely, and the skies are getting clearer for those who will never, ever be…ehem…skinny or ripped. People are starting to wake up from their delusional dreams of achieving a fashion magazine cover physique and a lot of organizations here and there are fully supporting a healthier body image.


Photo Credit: sarascoggins.buzznet.com

"Love Yourself"-a line that is commonly used in all paraphernalia that promote body and size acceptance. It's an advice that's so powerful that it has affected (in a positive way) the way people look at their bodies-it's like a 'detox juice' to whatever magazine or billboard that shoves an unattainable body image junk down our throats.

"Love Yourself." From being a powerful advice, it has become an excuse-this is where the problem comes in. I have a lot of Facebook friends-most of them I personally know-who are clearly not in shape and downright unhealthy, and yet they have the gall to repost photos saying "Love Yourself". What are they telling themselves and the rest of the world? That even if you're unhealthy and you can't run half a mile without dying at every step, that's okay because you love yourself anyway? Something's not right in here.


Now before you tell me I'm being judgmental and I criticize fat, unhealthy people, and I have no idea of their situation, let me tell you that I was once obese, a walking blob at 156lbs-in short, I've been there, guys. Hey, I loved myself, all my curves, all my layers, and accepted the fact that I was destined to be that all my life. That, plus my family is hefty on fat genes. I accepted all these seemingly inalienable truths because I 'loved' myself. And then I couldn't climb a flight of stairs without panting like a dog, I was experiencing breathing problems, and my knees were starting to hurt and go 'poof' whenever I walk. But it was okay because I loved myself anyway.

Now can you honestly tell me, based on my story, if I really loved myself then?

To love yourself is to not only accept the body that you have, but to take care of it as well. Accept it, but don't abuse it. EXERCISE. Choose the right exercise for your body type and physical capabilities-if you don't buy the idea of exercising for vanity, then exercise for your health instead. (That way, you won't have an excuse to sit in the couch all day) Work with it, not against it. Eat healthy. Say no to an extra slice of cheesecake. Sleep properly. Quit your vices. Adopt a winner's mindset.-you can't just do one of these because they all go hand in hand.

To love ourselves deeply and completely is by embracing our body and taking care of our health in the best way possible. Even if you're skinny, lean, chubby, curvaceous, or muscular, it is absolutely important to be healthy-this is what I want to point out in here.

Please, let us not skew the real meaning of "Love Yourself." And please, don't tell me you love yourself if your cholesterol levels are off the charts.

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11 Lovely Thoughts

  1. I really agree with you! To love oneself doesn't mean to love being unhealthy. I may not be fat but I was once unhealthy as well. I'm too thin and I'm not exercising. SO whenever we do our PE classes, I always feel too exhausted. But one day I realized that I needed to exercise or else my future will be affected. Now I'm on my ideal BMI since I've been doing rigorous exercise at least once a week. :)

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  2. I TOTALLY AGREE! Loving oneself is not just about accepting whatever size you are. It's about taking care of it. You take care of it because YES, YOU LOVE IT.

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  3. This is so true ms. Martha. I've been overweight all my life. and Yes, I also say that I love myself and feel comfortable in my own skin. Even my hubby's friends can attest to how comfortable I am (since most comments he hears from his friends are, about how I carry myself well even though I'm a little bit on the heavier side). I have tried and still am trying to eat healthier and shed those unwanted pounds. I've been diagnosed with Overt Diabetes (meaning, I'm borderline to being a full blown diabetic) I just gave birth last year, and I don't have any more excuse to not be in shape and healthy.

    I recently started yoga and trying to shy away from eating sweets, since it is my ultimate weakness. This is post is an inspiration and that I should continue on living a healthier lifestyle. ^_^
    Don't get me wrong, It's honestly a beautiful house to look at, but I actually find the gargoyle-like carvings in the old house, a little bit creepy. LOL
    Random Beauty by Hollie

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  4. I agree wholeheartedly as well! Loving entails acceptance, but that's not all there is to it.

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  5. I totally agree with you. Those "love yourself" messages, I believe, are meant for those with body-image issues and end up having anorexia, bulimia, and/or depression. Truly loving oneself means taking care of oneself and having both a healthy mind and healthy body. I'm also disturbed (I guess partly because I'm an MD) by those who post such things when they clearly need to lose weight for medical reasons. "I love myself" is not an excuse to NOT have a healthy lifestyle and then solely blaming your genes for all the lifestyle diseases that might develop later on. Lastly, I wish more people would want to eat healthier, exercise, etc because they want to be healthy and not because they're aiming for a particular body shape.

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  6. It's overrated to tell everybody that you don't care coz you love yourself so much. There's a deeper meaning of saying "Love thyself" because it's the person who actually feels it and even if someone disagrees, we couldn't do anything to change their perspective.
    It's actually not easy to tell a fat girl to start living healthy by exercising. I have several overweight girl friends and whew I had done all my best to convince them to change their diet and lifestyle but to no avail. Well maybe I can just say that they they love thensekves for who they are and not for what they are.

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  7. Good for you that you did something to change the things you didn't like about yourself. But does it affect you that people are okay with their bodies? Just because they don't conform to your idea of "loving yourself" doesn't mean that they are wrong.

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  8. Hey girls! thank you for taking the time to comment-loved reading all your thoughts. :)

    Matcha: Hey, thanks for the insight and welcome to my blog! The whole point of the post is not changing the things you don't like about yourself, but rather becoming better, health-wise. As I've pointed out, it doesn't matter whether you're skinny, chubby, lean, slim, or muscular as long as you're healthy (or trying to be healthy at the very least) and I don't see any reason why one shouldn't be. And yes, it bothers me when some people say they don't have time to exercise yet they can make time for trivial things. :)


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  9. Guilty of this. Maybe I am not loving myself well. I am even scared of going to hospital for a check up...I am trying my best naman, I eat healthy foods. I'm not addicted to sweet foods and even junk foods. It's only the sleep I am lack of and excercise


    You look like Juday pala

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  10. I think surrounding yourself with good and positive people will make you feel great and positive too. :) Loving yourself includes knowing what is your happiness because knowing your happiness will bring you to a healthy and positive lifestyle. More power and Godbless. xoxo

    -Darlene

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  11. “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
    ― Lao Tzu

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Thank you for your comments!