The Locus of Control: my advice when you're deeply demotivated

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Yesterday was a pretty bad day. I started the day enthusiastically with a hopeful heart because we were invited to present our ideas to a potential client. It was good, we did great, but right after the meeting, my energy just slumped; all of a sudden, I got really tired and strangely, sad. You see, we get a lot of invitations from potential clients to present our ideas; but at the end of the day, nothing is ever sure and it's a long process before you close a partnership; with this pandemic looming above our heads, that process just became even longer and more dreadful.

That, plus a lot of other things; I felt that I was burned out with work, I was bummed because with the way things are going, it looks like I'm not going to travel with my husband or proceed with my goals this year, the future looks so bleak because of how bad the government is handling this pandemic situation,  me being a bit hard on myself most of the time, and I don't feel I am at my most creative in the business lately. Yesterday was the culmination of months of feeling and nursing all these emotions and thoughts, and yesterday, I felt their weight collapse on my shoulders. I couldn't explain all my weariness and sadness-I even felt like crying.

I even questioned if I still liked what I was doing.

I was supposed to furnish a file for that client, but I just didn't feel like working; in fact, I was agitated and I only wanted to wander or stare into blank space or something-anything by working. So I shut down my laptop, picked up my iPad, changed my clothes, and walked to the nearest coffee shop.

While having coffee, I was binge watching motivational videos on Youtube. I came across interesting videos that discussed THE LOCUS OF CONTROL. What is it?

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In the 90's, a professor from Columbia University named Claudia Mueller did a study called THE LOCUS OF CONTROL. A bunch of grade 5 students participated, were split into two groups, and were asked to solve a puzzle. When the groups finished, one group was told that they were successful because THEY WERE SMART. The other group was told that they were successful because THEY WORKED HARD.

Afterwards, the same group of students were given another set of puzzles to solve with varying difficulties. The activity revealed that the SMART group only focused on the easier puzzles, barely touched the harder puzzles, gave up easily, and some blamed external forces that hindered them from finishing the harder puzzles. Meanwhile, the HARDWORKING group pushed through and were able to finish all the puzzles, and even enjoyed the experience even with the difficult ones.

What the study aimed to teach was the concept of LOCUS OF CONTROL.

Locus of Control is the degree to which you believe you have control over things, circumstances, and ultimately, your life. The smart group believed in what they call the External Locus of Control; they believed that success depends on factors one cannot control such as being smart. The hardworking group believed in what they call the Internal Locus of Control; they believed that success is dependent on factors that one can control such as effort, hard work, and dedication.

But why am I musing about this study?

Because it's very important to know that having a strong Internal Locus of Control comes handy in times when you are deeply demotivated.

Looking at the things I wrote here that made me feel the way I felt yesterday, I realized that they were all forces I could not control: the recession, pandemic, and organizational structures. For months, I have been spending my energy on things that I really couldn't fix or influence, and thinking about it now, I should have shifted my focus and spent all those times either with my family, with friends, shooting new content, just being more productive, or just being more peaceful at the very least!

I walked with my husband last night around the village and poured my feelings: I was very transparent with my feelings and gave myself some tough talk too; the experience felt liberating, as if I was slowly removing patches of stress, anxiety, and worry from my skin. I felt really light and my head cleared after that because in that moment, I felt I was in control of myself again.

I also called it a day pretty early. I have a couple of work to do, but I just decided to put off everything to tomorrow. At least in this moment, I gained control over work and was able to prioritize myself as needed.

After yesterday, I realized that one of the primary keys to staying motivated or getting out of demotivation is to understand that YOU CAN CHOOSE TO HAVE CONTROL. You can control your responses to failure, you can control your plans even in this pandemic, you have control over your body, you have control on whom you want to share your life and experiences with, and to some degree, you can control the outcome of your life.

I can't do anything about this pandemic, but I can find ways to be more productive at home by learning a new skill; I can't do anything about the current administration right now, but I can vote better leaders this 2022. I can't do anything about clients trying to pinch their pennies, but I can offer more cost- effective services or keep on seeking new ones to hopefully land a bigger contract.

If you're in the same place as I am, do know that it's okay to feel demotivated, lost, tired, angry, or confused; we have been through a lot last year and we're still going through the same thing this year. Embrace your sadness as you do your happiness in order to rise again with a clearer head and heart. 

Most of all, you need to develop a strong Internal Locus in order to keep on moving forward.

Hang in there.