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28 and why I learned to love sadness


I'm sipping a cup of cold latte, thinking about the year that has passed before I turned 28; I'm still shaking my head at how unfavorable the last one year and a couple of months have been, but one thing remains true and that is bad days are impermanent; at some points last year, I thought I was going to die (a bit literally) out of stress, exhaustion, pressure, and sadness, but hey, I'm still here, sipping my most favorite beverage in the world and chuckling while recalling all the dramas I've had.

I'm alive.

I've always been the happy one, but the stress of being a start- up kinda' sucked the happy energy out of me (because that's just how it is!); I know I'll always be the happy person, but like everybody else, I get sad, frustrated, and down sometimes.

Allow yourself to be sad.

This is an important lesson I learned before turning 28; at many points, since I turned a new leaf in my life (aka entrepreneurship), I've been quite grumpy, down, sad, haggard, and just tired, not to mention my plans for this year taking a backseat just made things sadder; a lot would advice me to cheer up, to smile through the pain, to be thankful, to be yadda, yadda, yadda; for the world, I should be someone who isn't sad, considering the many blessings I've had and continually receive.

Fake it 'til you make it; I've learned that that doesn't ring true for emotions; turning 28 taught me one of the most important things and that is if you are sad, then don't force yourself to be happy; I'm not encouraging you to wallow in sadness, but rather acknowledge it; give yourself time to be sad because you learn from this feeling too; sadness is not your enemy; it's a feeling that is part of you so don't resist it; happiness can be the worst and that is if it doesn't come naturally.

At 28, I've learned that acknowledging sadness is the path to finding real happiness and appreciating it more.

So if you're sad now, don't worry; stay in there for a while, acknowledge it, and learn from it; and then genuine happiness will come in time.

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33 Lovely Thoughts

  1. Hugs for you Ms. M! This post reminds me of the movie inside out I know that coping with sadness differs to every person but your way is more mature I want to apply it on myself too.

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  2. This post is one of my favorite dito sa blog mo Ms. Martha. This is so trueee as in agree ako, at the age of 16 na stress ako ng bongga. Feeling ko lahat na ng kamalasan nararanasan ko, sobrang lungkot. Halos kainin na ako ng lungkot hindi ko alam. Pero you can't force to be happy kasi, mahirap sobra. Masakit. Chos. Ang problem ko ate hindi love life ha. Sa buhay talaga, sa family, sa work, sa school. Sobrang lungkot. Hinahayaan ko lang sarili ko na maging sad pag di ko kaya, di ko kaya. Wala rin namang mangyayari kung pipilitin ko maging masaya. Pero sa almost 4 years of being stressed sa lahat ng bagay, napakalungkot, sa dami kong pinagdaanan, lahat ng hirap. I've learned a lot. Madami akong natutunan. Di ko nga akalain na magging ganto na kahappy life ko ngayon, time will come din kasi. God has plans. God is good. I've learned to seek God, to love God. If you're sad. Its okay, madami ka ring matutunan sa stage na yan e. Kaya like sabi mo ateee, you'll learn from it and then genuine happiness will come in time. ❤️❤️

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    1. One important thing I learned in Buddhism is everything is impermanent, including sadness. You'll get through it. :)

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  3. This post is one of my favorite dito sa blog mo Ms. Martha. This is so trueee as in agree ako, at the age of 16 na stress ako ng bongga. Feeling ko lahat na ng kamalasan nararanasan ko, sobrang lungkot. Halos kainin na ako ng lungkot hindi ko alam. Pero you can't force to be happy kasi, mahirap sobra. Masakit. Chos. Ang problem ko ate hindi love life ha. Sa buhay talaga, sa family, sa work, sa school. Sobrang lungkot. Hinahayaan ko lang sarili ko na maging sad pag di ko kaya, di ko kaya. Wala rin namang mangyayari kung pipilitin ko maging masaya. Pero sa almost 4 years of being stressed sa lahat ng bagay, napakalungkot, sa dami kong pinagdaanan, lahat ng hirap. I've learned a lot. Madami akong natutunan. Di ko nga akalain na magging ganto na kahappy life ko ngayon, time will come din kasi. God has plans. God is good. I've learned to seek God, to love God. If you're sad. Its okay, madami ka ring matutunan sa stage na yan e. Kaya like sabi mo ateee, you'll learn from it and then genuine happiness will come in time. ❤️❤️

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  4. Kanina pag open ko ng pc ko nagttaka ako bakit kaya "28 AND WHY I LEARNED TO LOVE SADNESS" ang topic? After ko mabasa ang dami kong napulot, napa "OO NGA NOH' ako. Madals kasi satin mga babae nakakaranas tlga tau ng ganito and I must say acknowledging sadness is the path to finding real happiness and appreciating it more is very true:)♥♥♥

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  5. Can't agree more! I remembered "Sadness" from Inside Out. She is actually the key character there and provided us a refreshing perspective about our sadness. You never really appreciate the good times if not for those down moments. Great reflection for your 28th birthday Ms Martha! Belated happy birthday! :)

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  6. Been there, when in 2010 I was diagnosed with illness before entering college. Everyone's saying especially my younger siblings why I am not sad, why I am not crying. They don't know how it's hard for me but I want them to see that I am fine. Although I cry myself out when I am alone. But when my suitor became my boyfriend in 2014 I begin to open up myself showing him all my emotions, I can cry in front of him which I can't do back then and later on made my cry in front of others when I am sad or in pain. I think that turned out to be so well because I can now open up things to my family and makes me feel better.

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  7. Stay strong, Ms. Martha! You are an inspiration to so many people. I hope you are having a great day!

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    1. Thank you. I hope you're having a great day too :)

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  8. that is so true Ms. Martha.. its okay to feel sad at some point in our lives.. we can still learn from it naman eh :)

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  9. i really missed this kind of post ms m.. i feel every word in this article. 2015 is a REAL struggle in my life, i turned 30 two days before you turned 28. lahat ng pwede kong maramdaman at lahat ng sakit na pwede kong maramdaman lahat yan naramdaman ko nung 2015. di ko alam pano ko nalagpasan yung lahat ng yun. i even told myself, siguro kaya mas tumibay ako dahil nasagad na ang limit ko ng lungkot, ng sakit halos gusto kong burahin yung buong taon na yun.. pero eto ako ngayon nasa kalahating taon na muli.. alam ko kailangan ko ulit ibalik ang sarili ko sa dapat na ako kahit mahirap.. hindi na buo pero lumalaban.

    marami pa rin akong dapat ipagpasalamat dahil meron akong chance na bumangon at lumaban.. di man para sa ibang tao kundi para sa sarili ko..

    belated happy birthday Ms M! hugs and kisses.. Rhania

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    1. Thank you for sharing. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's going through this. And congratulations for surviving. :)

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  10. I agree! Madalas pag sad dun nakakapagisip ng deep thoughts. :P

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  11. You are right Ms. Martha, part ng buhay yan. Hindi naman sa lahat ng oras happy happy tayo. Need lang natin iaccept at iassess kung saan tayo nagkamali. Focus. Focus. Present of mine. Sooner or later magiging ok na din ang lahat. I'm ten yrs older than you. Naging full time mom ako nang magstart ung eldest kong mag aral. I have 3 kids, 8, 5 & 1yr old. Wala kameng kasambahay. Kapagod. Kastress. Dameng times nalungkot din ako at nastress. Pero hindi pedeng sumuko. Laban lang. Di ka iiwan ng family mo. At higit sa lahat ni Lord. Btw, aside sa blogging may business ka pa ba? Goodluck Ms. Martha. Kaya yan, laban lang. Dapat happy. Smile. Mwuah mwuah tsup tsup

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    1. Thank you, Monaliza. :) Yes, I have and it's really stressful, but I am learning from it.

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  12. Maeca MascariñaJune 13, 2016 at 6:54 PM

    So true! Idk why but I really felt sad and gloomy while reading this. Scared to be older now ��

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    1. It's okay! I hope it taught you that even if it's gloomy, it will be okay anyway. :)

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  13. A million hugs to you, Ms. Martha. We all have the blues, but it's how we deal with it that will make the difference. Some will choose to soak up in it, while others accept it, and will try to do something about it. This reminds me of the movie INSIDE OUT, I like the latter part wherein Sadness takes over to make Riley realize all the happy memories that she has with her family, and she just forgot about it because she was absorbed in a lot not so good experiences about her family. Me right now, I wanted something so bad to happen in my life desperately...and still waiting for it...yeah I get sad when I realize that what I want might not happen, and it scares the hell out of me, to see my plans and dreams not coming true. Anyway, wishing you luck in your future endeavors Ms. Martha. Keep on blogging.

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  14. I guess being sad is a part of a process called life. I'm a decade older than you Ms. M and believe me I've been through a lot of sadness, heartaches and frustrations. But the good thing about it is I'm still here more improved version of myself. It's ok to be sad there's nothing wrong with it but at the end of the road you will find the real happiness like what you said. God bless you more! =)

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    1. yes, I am looking forward to that improved version of myself too. Thank you. :)

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  15. you are great at 28th Martha (virtual hugs) you inspired people, though each one of us suffered from sadness, thats life. you have just to embraced til it fades. life goes and on. Happy birthday M!:)

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  16. Well said Martha. When they said we need to embrace life it didnt mean to just embrace the happy times but to also acknowledge and experience the sadness or the ugly facets of it. I guess this way we can say have truly lived

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    1. True. The path to happiness is accepting sadness, I believe!

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  17. There, there Ms. Martha. Life really does have ups and downs and its sucks nga when you have to fake you're ok to make it. And it sucks even more when people demand the abandon of your emotions kasi it's not professional. >:p What matters pala talaga in life is what you think of yourself and what really does make you happy.

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    1. Thank you, Sarah. Nowadays, when I'm sad and people tell me not to be, in my head I'm just like "Why not? I'm just being human." :)

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Thank you for your comments!